Wishful Thinking
by ClickRed
Summary: Sometimes the only reality that you know is the one fabricated inside of your own head. Ask Sasuke. He'll tell you. WARNING: Slight SasuNaru/NaruSasu, psychological crap, death, oneshot, and confusion. Enjoy!


Wishful Thinking

Clickred

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, but Naruto owns me. So… there. I...uh... do not own Freud either.

OOO

"Wake up asshole." Sasuke felt a pair of fingers prod him in the ribs. His induced dream splintered to a halt as he watched the reddening spiral from his own eyes looking at himself in a mirror transform into a bright yellow spiral on someone's shirt: Naruto's. He raised his eyebrow at the blond man crouching over him, and let out an exasperated sigh. _What now?_

"Don't give me that look, I've made breakfast." Naruto grinned; his canines poked out just a bit lower than their adjacent teeth. His sunflower-colored bangs fell into his eyes and landed softly around Naruto's nose and cheeks. The idiot needed a haircut. He really was useless. He supposed that with his forehead protector it didn't really make much of a difference, but just looking at it now aggravated him a bit. A lot.

"Well then go eat it dumbass. Do you need me to spoon-feed you?" Sasuke grunted and pushed the boy away, making him stumble a bit before regaining his balance. Sasuke hurried up and jumped off the futon, ignoring the incensed call of "see if I do anything nice for you ever again, bastard", and made a beeline to the bathroom that the two boys shared. He shrugged his pajama bottoms and underwear to his knees and took a piss. When he had finished grooming himself in the bathroom, he came out to an oily pan with nothing in it.

"I thought you said you made breakfast." Sasuke commented to Naruto, who was lying on the floor with one of the divan pillows underneath his head. His body laid sprawled in a feral position, scratching his stomach, and singing a merry tune of some sort. He was snapped out of his reverie by a projectile Sasuke aimed at the side of his head. Naruto caught it; he snorted at Sasuke's antic and tossed it back to him. "Did you make breakfast?" Sasuke tried again.

Naruto smirked; his teeth gleamed in the protruding sunlight entering the room. "I seem to recall something of the sort. It's too bad that a certain encounter with your stupid face," Sasuke rolled his eyes, "made me reconsider leaving you anything." The boy shifted to the side and snickered playfully.

Again, that exasperated sigh came back to Sasuke's lips. He didn't know what made him consider sharing an apartment with the blond fool. Naruto's white noise laugh penetrated into Sasuke's head. "Shut up, dobe." Sasuke ran his fingers through his hair and closed his eyes for a brief moment before engaging his roommate again. "Do we have anything else to eat?"

"Don't call me that! Hm." Naruto seemed to consider the question seriously. "I…" He paused. "I don't think so." At least, there was nothing that Sasuke would consider eatable. Sure the two boys had ramen, courtesy of Naruto, but Sasuke wasn't really thrilled with the pathetic excuse for a meal.

"Wonderful." Sasuke said, checking the empty refrigerator, before walking over to Naruto and sitting down. "You're getting the groceries." Naruto snorted. "I'm serious. I have a meeting with the Hokage concerning my… situation."

"Okay, whatever." Naruto waved him off. "Say hi to the hag for me." He mumbled with some strange affection that Sasuke knew was reserved for only those that Naruto revered, but couldn't allow himself to praise. He, on more than one occasion had that tone directed at him. There was a slight jealousy at the back of his mind, which Sasuke later considered ridiculous because he didn't even like the boy enough to care about what Naruto thought of him.

OOO

Sasuke was given a mission upon entering Tsunade's domain. He was to go with a select team, no doubt also there to watch him, and neutralize an A-class ninja. She chose him primarily because he didn't flinch at blood anymore or death or inflicting death upon others. There was something strange that he became when he went into action. His pupils dilated, sharingan swirled, stance changed. His blood ran cold beneath his skin in likeness with his former reptilian teacher. He went from a human-ghost hybrid to a killer in a matter of microseconds. Not all of the Kyubi's rage could amount to the monster burrowing in his own scull, leaving the shattered fragments in bizarre positions that could never be quite put back together.

His madness was an asset. Without it, ironically, the village wouldn't have even considered taking him back. When he told this to Naruto one night, the boy scoffed while telling him that he was being overly paranoid and that the village was too terrified of madness and monsters to consider keeping him as their pet. It was the reason that they hated Naruto; if Sasuke really was capable of choas then they would have killed him. Naruto, then, proceeded to engage Sasuke in some frivolous argument that Sasuke found himself, to his horror, engaging in.

But they did value what he was taught: how to be the perfect killer. Sasuke had known this to be true upon entry to the village.

OOO

Sasuke returned home a few weeks later with grime in his silky hair and a slightly darker tint to the world in his eyes. The Uchiha blindness was setting in; his gift was slipping away from him. Naruto waited until Sasuke was inside the apartment before giving him a hug and telling him that it was a good thing Sasuke hadn't died because Naruto had eaten all of Sasuke's food and that the Uchiha needed to go shopping. Sasuke simply ignored him and walked into his room, knowing that Naruto would follow him.

"So, how'd it go?" Naruto asked as Sasuke collapsed on the futon. The wheat-haired boy went to Sasuke's feet to take off the Uchiha's sandals. The propagation of Sasuke's dried sweat hit Naruto's nose and caused him to flinch. "You need a shower." He told him.

Sasuke nodded, but Naruto highly doubted that the raven-haired man understood what he told him. Hell, if Naruto had said, "Yo, Sasuke. Look! Itachi!" He considered that Sasuke would have only lightly nodded and fallen back into his pillow. "Argh, fine." Naruto told him, "You can rest." Sasuke nodded, and fell asleep.

When he finally did wake up, Sasuke found his room smelling of lime and knew it was Naruto's doing. Despite his cognac awareness, he felt a little betrayed that his almost brother dumped limey acid into his room in order to diffuse the smell. Sasuke pouted all the way toward the bathroom and made sure to stay in the shadows so that his roommate wouldn't catch him showing emotion. He realized that he should have known better as he turned the water on because there was no noise in the vicinity, which meant that either Naruto wasn't there or that the idiot was asleep. Finally, he thought. Some peace!

Then he regretted it because it reminded him that he was in fact lonely and that Naruto was the only one stupid enough to speak with him. He missed the stupid taunts that the boy sent his way. He missed Naruto. He certainly wouldn't admit it to the boy, but it was a trying feat in itself to admit it to himself. He shut the water off and slipped into his boxers, leaving the rest of the water sticking to his skin and drip on the floor. He started walking toward Naruto's room, maybe just to piss the boy off, maybe so he could stop the abundance of quiet condensing inside of his head. He opened the door.

Naruto always slept on his back. He sometimes turned over to his side, but moved back to his previous position in an instant. Naruto also always wore that stupid black nightcap, which he put on when he knew Sasuke was asleep as to not have the raven-haired boy mock him or his nightly rituals. Sasuke speculated many reasons for this, but never officially asked him.

Sasuke laid down next to him and listened to Naruto's breath in confirmation to the boy's existance. There were tiny amber hairs peeking out and Sasuke went in to touch them, only to recoil his hand as Naruto groaned and stretched like a cat. A few drops dripped down Sasuke's neck while the clumped locks plastered to his neck.

He closed his eyes and smiled.

Sometime during the night, Naruto woke up and knocked off of the slip of covers muttering, "Asshole, got my pillow wet…" Sasuke blinked at the hazy silhouette before resting his head on the wooden floor and pressed his chest on a few specs of dirt that gave him an itch. Sasuke huffed and pulled the covers away from his friend, rolling away while he felt a sliver of murderous intent emit from the boy. He tensed up expectantly.

"Why are you even in my room?" Naruto grunted; Sasuke could imagine the boy's eyebrows crinkle into a frown- he sounded like he was giving him one. Sasuke and turned over to the boy; he was out of focus. Sasuke blinked, rubbing his eyes. Nothing, he was still coming in some smog-like semblance.

"Shit." Sasuke sat up, hands coming to his eyes. He could see them. He sighed in relief. "I think there's something wrong." He said with his hands covering his face. They slowly slipped to the side and he looked at Naruto-but not Naruto.

"You better not be fucking around." The blob accused him. "You know I'll kick your ass if you try." Sasuke snorted, like the idiot could really kick his ass. The last time they faced each other in a hostile situation was when he was still with Orochimaru and the blond boy just kind of watched him and waited for Sasuke to act, which surprised Sasuke because the dumbass always rushed into everything.

"You know what, it's probably nothing." Sasuke said, unwrapping the cocoon he'd wound around himself, and stood up to fumble slightly toward the door, which he could see. He waited until he was a good distance away before slipping his fingers into a familiar sea, softly saying, "Kai!" He looked up. Nothing. What the fuck? This was stupid. Everything was the same.

Naruto's loud footsteps, completely unsuitable for a ninja in Sasuke's mind, came closer. "You were being serious?" The boy asked softly. He came to Sasuke's side, placing his hand on Sasuke's shoulder. Sasuke wouldn't look back. He didn't want to look at Naruto and have his image burn away from his eyes. "Sasuke," Naruto called, "look at me." Sasuke did, but once again came face to face with that rift in reality of what he could and couldn't see. His hands shot up to Naruto's face, marking his hair, his cheeks, his scars.

"I don't understand…" Sasuke breathed. "I can see everything…" But Naruto. He couldn't see Naruto clearly.

OOO

"Explain it to me again, Sakura, what happened him?" Kakashi urged his former student as the two stood before a body, covered by a bag. Sakura couldn't quite get herself to pull down the bag yet. It had taken a few weeks before she could even come into this room without breaking down completely. She was a damned medic-nin for crying out loud!

"Naru-" She couldn't quite finish saying his name. Instead she bit her lip and then slightly composed herself with an inhalation of breath. "He's dead, Kakashi-sensei." The next words choked her, and she had to immediately sit down in the family chair. "We were going to go find _him_ and bring _him_ back home. _He_ killed him. He let _him_."

"Ah, Sasuke killed Naruto." Kakashi had a wistful yet grim expression. Sakura winced at Sasuke's name and placed her hand on the bag. It seemed that she hadn't quite yet mastered apathy toward the two names. "I understand that Sasuke was captured."

"Don't you dare say _his_ name!" The girl hissed, finally cracking and letting her tears spill onto the orange bag that held her companion. "He doesn't deserve his name for what he's done." Sakura sniffed lightly.

"Alright." Kakashi eyed her critically, "So was _he_ captured?" Finally after the tears left Sakura and she nodded hesitantly. "Okay, let's go." He spoke calmly to the pink-haired girl. "I need to see him right now. Hokage's orders." He lied; Tsunade didn't even know where he was right now. He wanted to know if it was worth it- if it were possible to lose all humanity just like that. Kakashi needed to confirm that monsters existed in his world and not only in his head.

Sakura scoffed. "_He_ isn't coherent, Kakashi-sensei." She gave a bitter laugh followed by more sniffling. "_He_ lost the right to _his_ sanity the moment _he_ killed him." She turned to the orange bag. "_He's_ stuck in his own clan-fabricated jutsu with no way out. Isn't it ironic? _He_ gained all the power in the world only to be consumed by it." She gave a bitter laugh. "I hope it kills _him!_"

OOO

"Neurotics complain of their illness, but they make the most of it, and when it comes to taking it away from them they will defend it like a lioness her young."  
Sigmund Freud

**End**

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AN: Woot! It's done! For my first Naruto fanfiction, I think it's pretty okay. I'll take reviews- even flames (I've never been given one T-T)! Hope you've enjoyed reading this as much as I've enjoyed writing it. 


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